Oops and Art

Just a quick post.

In the post titled, “The Postcard Thing,” I had a link to drop me an email.  I thought for a while that it was just a spectacularly failworthy idea, but it turns out the link hasn’t worked since I set it up.

So, I removed the link in that post and left the email there.  It’s postcardsfromrecoveryATgmail.com.  Drop me a line so I can send you some homemade postcards to encourage your recovery!

*****************

 

I’ve been listening to old radio shows on the OTR podcast while I color.  I listen to Harry Potter while I paint.  Makes the time just fly.

I’ve found I’m almost meditative sometimes while doing artsy things late at night.  It’s such a nice feeling, so much nicer than being wound up and worried about whether or not I’ll ever get to sleep, or when my next drink is.

I got caught in town without a ride home a few weeks ago.  While waiting for a ride, I sat down and put my earbuds in and meditated.  I was outside on a bench, and it was *amazing.*  I felt like I was in the eye of a tornado, untouched but able to hear everything around me, not needing to see anything, just existing and experiencing in this gorgeous scene without a need to look at anything.  I don’t know if I’m describing it well.  It was such a feeling of inclusion and yet of listening to the whole world.  I hope I get to meditate like that more.

I’m still having crazy drinking nightmares.  They usually involve me drinking on the sly until I’m panicked that I can’t stop.  Often someone, last night it was my husband, leaves wine in my fridge and then leaves.

I think these dreams are helping me wash my mind of any straggling thoughts that I will be able to drink normally again. The absolute terror I feel after I’ve had a bottle of vodka, even a dream bottle, is something I need to never forget.  I am so easily lost in the sheer volume of booze.  By the end it took bottles and what felt like bats to achieve a buzz. There is no going back.

I am content here, in sobriety, today. And that’s all I can ask for.

Have a great Tuesday everyone.

XO

P
Edited to add:

This is from the coloring book for the book “Rewired.”
This was done with Caran d’Ache watercolor crayons on dry paper. Then brushed over with water.

All watercolor crayons. I think I’m getting the hang of them.
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One thought on “Oops and Art

  1. “The absolute terror I feel after I’ve had a bottle of vodka, even a dream bottle, is something I need to never forget.” – Everyone should apply this to whatever it is they’re struggling with in life. Thank you. I’ve had a particularly hard week and I needed this. X

    Liked by 1 person

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