I’m still here! 🙂 Life has been crazy busy.
I’m still sober. Day 136 and I’m feeling pretty sorted for today. No strong drinking urges, no stupid little demon telling me it will be okay to try just one. I’m kind of confident in my sobriety right now, which can certainly be a dangerous thing to say this early on. But I do feel confident and in a good place.
Our family emergency is still ongoing, still very stressful and needs a lot of attention. Another rubber-band trip to the big city of Anchorage last weekend. It’s a pricey place to go in the summer…hotel rooms are asinine expensive. It’s also just a short enough trip that camping seems like SO MUCH work.
I put a new app on my phone to track meals and calories, steps and workouts and such. I love it so far. I love the wiggle room of figuring out what to do with the last 1/3 of my calories…I’m on a pretty restricted diet because I *really* want to see some weight loss, but it’s still fun figuring out how to spend my calorie allotment. I definitely think it’s a positive thing that I see this as a FUN challenge and not a chore! That gives me hope that I’ll actually see results by Christmas.
Oh, and Fig Newmans might *say* they’re lowfat, but they’re still the most calorie-laden thing I ate all day.
I’ve been going crazy with the art. It’s now an established habit for me to stay up until 3a.m., then get up with Little One at about 8:00. I get about 4 hours of time to listen to podcasts and comedy shows while I do whatever art I can accomplish quietly.
I’m finding the days so much less onerous—all the little things I do repetitively, (reading books to LO, dishes, folding laundry, etc.) are so much easier to enjoy because I know I can look forward to quiet and peaceful space after they all go to bed. I wish I’d realized years ago how very important alone time is for me. I don’t think I was ready to give myself that “treat,” yet. It’s sad to think of all the ways I have spent years treating myself like a second-class citizen. I deserve a space and some time of my own just as much as all of my other family members do. I work hard to make sure they all have time and space to be alone if that’s what they need…at least now I’m learning to give myself the same consideration.
I have a cold that is getting worse by the minute. Ugh. Must buy tissues.
On that note, have some pictures!